


Known by heart

by Rengi



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F, Juliana makes a trip down memory lane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 20:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18126221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rengi/pseuds/Rengi
Summary: Juliana wasn’t forgetting that day either. It would be forever stored as one of the happiest days of her life, side by side with the day she met Valentina at the park and, in the future, the day when she would marry the woman of her life.





	Known by heart

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language.

Juliana wasn’t really the type of person who treasure every nice moment of her life. She just lives. And honestly, having a hitman as a father didn’t leave too many good moments worth of remembering.

She decided to maybe keep one thing here and there in the back of her mind after meeting Valentina. One day in the park helping up a stranger, one coffee some time later with a not so stranger anymore, one visit at her house. Juliana wanted to have something to remember as she waited for it to go wrong or for Val to get tired of her, because what someone like Valentina Carvajal would find interesting in Juliana anyway? 

This moment never came though, and Juliana came to understand that Valentina had showed up in her life and was there to stay, so Juliana started to save the memories with much more care. Each hug, hand holding and cheek kiss was revised in her head after every get together with Val. to the point it was hard to keep track of all of them. Juliana didn’t really know why it was important for her to remember all of this at first, but after Guillie’s birthday party, things became clearer, and all those small gestures suddenly had much more significance to her.  

Until the day Valentina truly gave her something to remember.

Juliana doesn’t think she will ever forget the first time she kissed Valentina Carvajal.

Even after she had turned 90, she is sure that this particular kiss will always be there in back of her mind, because it wasn’t just a first kiss with someone she liked, it was a kiss with a girl, something she never thought it would happen to her; it was a kiss she had wanted for a while, but  never in her wildest dreams had imagined happening; I was a kiss that she had to back away at first from fear of doing something wrong that would leave Val uncomfortable, but that in the end, Valentina herself made sure to show Juliana that she wanted it too.

It happened by accident. In the split second her brain forgot to put all the problems going on in her life at the forefront of her thoughts and decided to concentrate on how relaxed and at ease she felt around Valentina. At this point, hugging Val had a different intensity, hold her hand made her body have different responses and the way Valentina always made sure that Juliana had her hands on her waist left Juliana not sure of what to do.

She tried to take her hands away, to not hold on Valentina like it seemed the girl wanted her to, but Val’s response was to keep Juliana’s hands in place and take one step forward into the small space left between them, a space so small that, as a result, their foreheads ended up touching and Juliana could only think about what would feel like to have lips like Valentina’s on hers.

She backed off in the last second and thanked God because Valentina was still laughing and didn’t seem to have caught her intentions. She noticed she was clearly wrong as soon as the laughter died when Valentina looked at her lips, and if Val actually wanted to kiss her too, all Juliana could do was close her eyes and wait.

The kiss was slow and delicate, but also different from anything Juliana had ever experienced, because it made her not want to stop, it was something she was truly enjoying until it hit both of them what was actually happening. It scared Juliana at first, but after putting some thought into it, there wasn’t another explanation, she had a crush on Valentina.

***

Despite being worried sick about her mom, it was hard for Juliana to close her eyes and not remember that kiss by the pool. It had been something pleasurable that she had felt with her whole body and that she wouldn’t have stopped if she could. The fact that Valentina was around a good part of the time was not helping Juliana thinking of something else, especially when Val was nearly shouting from the rooftops with her eyes that she wanted to kiss Juliana again.

But the second time she kissed Valentina took some time to happen, even with their feelings being there in the open for awhile. This one Juliana was sure she wouldn’t forget too, because it had happened during the first moment of peace in a long time, but also because it was the first time Valentina made her body feels like it was fire.

It started slow like the first one, with their foreheads resting so delicately together that Juliana almost didn’t want to interrupt the moment with a kiss, but the feeling of Val’s breath so close reminded her of how good that first kiss had been, so Juliana moved slowly and her heart almost skipped a beat when Valentina received her lips with an open mouth.

Maybe it was the fact that they we aware of what existed between them; or maybe that they both had to admit the first kiss had been too good to ignore; or that, there, inside the car as Alírio went upstairs for a moment, was the first time they had been alone since the day at the pool, but something felt different in this second kiss, so as soon as Valentina started the third one, Juliana felt her jacket being taken off.

The sensation of having Valentina’s soft hands moving down her arm made Juliana shiver and want to touch and kiss Valentina with a desire she didn’t remember ever feeling before. The response she got mixed with the softness of Val’s skin, with her perfume and the taste of her lips only made Juliana’s craving grow. As consequence she would kiss with more intent and get an even more powerful response, turning everything into cycle Juliana had no idea where it would lead them.

All she knew was that Valentina was already half on top of her, kissing her with a force Juliana had only seen on tv and sure had never experienced herself, and that none of what was going on was leaving her scared, on the contrary, the thought of feeling more of Val’s skin, of seeing more of her and let the girl see more of her own body made Juliana feel like the air around them suddenly had turned into steam. 

Breathing was hard, but stop kissing Valentina when one kiss could bring all those new sensations at the same time was even harder. Juliana didn’t know how they were going to stop, or if that was actually a possibility running inside Valentina’s head. She just wanted to follow Valentina’s lips and body and never stop whatever it was they were doing.

Unfortunately, Alírio ended up being the one having a say on it.

***

The fourth kiss was the one that reminded Juliana of how Valentina was ride and die since the beginning. And if she had to really think about it, she could point out the innumerable times when Valentina had refuse to stay away from Juliana despite the danger and complicated situation Juls had found herself into, even before that first kiss. Now, after knowing how it was like to kiss Juliana, it seemed that Val was even more inclined to not stay away from her.

It was, at first, hard to understand that she had the same impact on Val’s life that Valentina had on hers. That the need to be close and together was mutual, that even with the people that might get in between them, Val wanted this relationship just as much as Juliana. But slow kissing Valentina in the middle of the living room for a good 3 or 4 minutes sure convinced Juliana that this was all real.

It was a ressurence, an indication that this was happening and that Valentina wasn’t here to joke around. It was Valentina saying she was just as much in love as Juliana was. It was Valentina holding Juliana’s hand and letting her know that she wasn’t navigating alone in this new and slightly confusing place they had found themselves into. 

***

Valentina had a thing for keeping track of memories. Juliana had noticed on the first day she had been on the girls room with all the photos and small objects that seemed to have a history behind them. 

But what Juliana never expected, was for Valentina ended up being the one giving her things to remember over and over again. Not just with her small presents, or a kiss, but with a moment that sure makes a difference in someone’s life.

Lay down fully naked with a man by her side had never been an appealing image in Juliana’s head. She never trusted anyone enough to be this exposed, but strangely, the curiosity of finding out how it would be like to feel more of her skin touching Valentina’s wasn’t intimidating. When she put things that way, she could easily understand there wasn’t any doubts when it came to what she wanted, even if the phrase  _ having sex with Valentina  _ was not something she felt ready to form on her head yet.   

“This is the perfect moment to really know how we feel”

The memory of kissing Valentina under the hot water as they lost each piece of clothing within every passing minute, was something Juliana would never forget.

If they were about to be left bare in front of each other, she would make sure to imprint every detail on her mind, because what she was going to have with Valentina wasn't just sex in the pervert sense of the word she was so used to think. It was a sort of connection she never knew it could exist, a kind of intimacy she never knew she would have with someone, a type of passion she didn't know she had in her.

Not only the experience of having sex itself was a surprise, but the way Valentina was all soft touches and kisses and asking if everything was still all good in the aftermath made Juliana's heart sway on her chest. And the way they woke up together in the next morning, even with the jump scare Silvina gave them, will always have a special place on Juliana's memories too.

***

Even though sleeping with Valentina had been memorable, it didn't stop Valentina from wanting to keep in her mind the kisses they shared. And the one that happened after they had become more intimate with each other than ever before, had a different taste in Juliana's tongue.

She sure enjoyed  the feeling of of being able to touch Valentina skin and hair freely as she pleased. She also enjoyed being able to test and see on first hand how the simple act of invading Valentina's personal space was enough to put a smitten grin on girl's face; how they seemed to not be able to stay away from each other for too long; how a little bit of teasing was enough to make Valentina run after her and demand the kiss she didn't give.

The build up to that kiss had started a long time before though, in the moment they were still naked on Valentina’s bed earlier in that morning, to be exact. Juliana could feel it coming when, after laying down together for awhile, Valentina said she was getting hungry and threw the covers to the side without ceremony, exposing her body completely to Juliana as she walked around the bed to go to the bathroom.

She felt too when Valentina walked out wearing just a white towel and giving another one to Juliana so she could take a shower. But as soon as Juliana stepped into the room again, she saw Valentina in underwear, making a mess in her wardrobe Silvina sure wouldn’t appreciate, as she displayed all kinds of blouses, pants and shorts on her bed. Juliana had to stop for a moment because she wanted to make sure  her brain would have enough time to record the vision in front of her. 

Valentina obviously noticed her, and even if she didn’t say it out loud, Juliana was sure she was asking if Juls was enjoying the show.

The answer was yes.

The car ride was almost unbearable. Because everytime Valentina smiled, Juliana was filled with a wave of fondness that would make her want to have Val’s lips on hers as soon as their eyes met. Once they were alone in that big house, she could feel the tension and the willingness to kiss each other become almost palpable between them. It was a surprise when Val decided to give a house tour instead of kissing Juliana by the entrance. But the way Valentina was looking at her lips at every second, was enough to let Juliana know that the other girl was trying to play a game, trying to dwell in this moment of provoking each other here and there just to have fun and see how long it would last.

It was with great satisfaction that Juliana found out Valentina didn’t even last the first provocation and run to catch up with her and put their lips together. This kiss tasted like the one in the car when Val almost ended up straddling her in the backseat, the difference was that, now, the intention behind taking Juliana’s clothes off was crystal clear and very much welcomed.

Juliana knew they were about to get naked and in bed again, because when Valentina mentioned wanting to have more  _ privacy _ , this was exactly what she was trying to accomplish. Besides, the way Val insisted on putting Juliana’s hand straight on her ass didn’t leave much more room for doubts.

Juliana would have loved to find out what it would be like to sleep with Valentina again, after that initial pressure of her first time had passed.

Only if life hasn’t decided to catch up with them again. 

***

Their fights were so rare Juliana could count on her hands. She didn’t count the usual banter they had here and there about simple things that wouldn’t matter at the end of the day, the only ones Juliana took seriously were the fights that had left her purposefully away from Valentina for several hours straight.

Those usually had a bad side effect on both of them, because it meant they had hurt each other in some deep level, and Juliana could almost never forgive herself for the times she was the one bringing tears to Valentina’s eyes. Even if it was to her own good. Even if it was to stop Val from picking up a fight with every single person she knew.

She had really tried to stay away. The only reason Juliana managed to get up from that bench in the park was because of a wave of irritation that wasn’t actually supposed to be directed at Val, otherwise she would have never left Valentina alone back there. Meaning that not even 2 hours later she was already worried sick and calling Val. But everything ended up being so much worse than Juliana could ever imagine.

It was a relief seeing Valentina after the hostage situation, even if her eyes were full of tears and her body tense. It was a bit awkward too, because how was Juliana supposed to know where they stood now? They were not together, but it didn’t mean Juliana didn’t want to confort Val and tell her everything would be ok and that she was there for anything she might need.

She still felt like it wasn’t her place anymore and all that was left to do was stand in the middle of the room, until Valentina give her any indication of what she was allowed to do.

It surprised Juliana a bit on how things found its old pace in the matter of hours. After leaving Camilo’s house, it was like they had never had a disagreement in the park, and Juliana could feel the energy between them changing slightly to something more intimate than just friends.

It didn’t help when Valentina announced that Juliana was her prince charming, and it was impossible to resist when Val was so close and looking so beautiful while smiling and caressing Juliana’s face. 

Juliana would have kissed her again right there. She wanted to. Nothing had changed and on the inside, Juliana still wanted to love Val with every cell and in all the ways she could possible  imagine.

It was a beautiful feeling, if she had to stop and think about it. Because all she wanted was to keep a smile on Valentina’s face and make sure she knew how much she was loved. It was a selfless and pure desire to do everything on her willpower so someone else could be happy. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever felt on her life.

The kiss Juliana couldn’t resist but give in tasted like the reinforcement of a promise. It was to remember Val, or rather both of them, that every single moment they had spent together was real, even if had lasted just a few days.

Nothing was more concrete than what they felt for each other, especially when Juliana could feel Valentina pulling her closer, despite of being already pressed up against the counter with zero to none space left between them.

***

Juliana never paid too much attention on TV. Especially not those gossip driven shows that wanted nothing more than to talk about someone’s private life as if they were entitled to it. 

But she is sure she would never forget the sight of Valentina on her TV.

The image in front of her was so different, but looked alike so much to the Valentina she knew, that Juliana couldn’t help but wanting to pay attention to everything that she was saying. 

She regret it in the moment it was clear what Valentina was coming out in national television, doing the very one thing she had said, not long ago, that could never happen or it would drag her family’s name down even deeper.

Juliana swore she would never understand how Valentina sometimes said something, but did the exact opposite not much time later. It was a trait that wouldn’t stop surprising Juls for awhile.

She watch the whole situation unfold in front of her slightly in shock. It was like she was finally aware of why sometimes people wanted a hole to swallow them completely. 

Juliana wasn’t exactly ashamed, it was more like that terrible feeling of second handed embarrassment, but only, it wasn’t second handed because it was her name Valentina was saying in that show.

Lupe almost kicked Juliana out of their apartment, telling her to not come back until she had talked to Valentina. And, to be honest, maybe she should listen more to her mom.

Despite feeling like her head was empty and looking over her shoulder at every five seconds to make sure no one had recognized her, the bus ride to Valentina’s gave Juliana enough time to think. The shock had faded a bit, but it was still coming into waves every time she revised the fact in her head, first because it didn’t make any sense, considering Val herself had told her this would ruin the remains of her family’s reputation; second because Valentina would sure be held accountable for any bad consequences this whole thing might have, and Juliana sure never had to worry about the press messing up her own life, but she wasn’t an idiot, she knew this could end very badly, and Juliana didn’t want any other bad thing happening to Valentina.

And third, because Juliana had never gone through anything like this before.

Not the whole big coming out thing. It was that unconditional love was not something she had experienced in regular bases until she had met Valentina. Even with Lupita, who was supposed to love her no matter what, there had been times Juliana doubted if a mother’s love was really everything people said it was, like when her mom caught Juliana kissing Valentina, or when she refused to leave El Chino behind even with all the trouble he had caused them.

But with Valentina? The only thing Juliana had received was love, and in some ways that she never thought it was possible to feel. For awhile Juliana thought she wasn’t worth of it, of this incredible plain, simple and real feeling Valentina gave her without requesting absolutely anything in exchange, but walking up to the big front door of the  Carvajal’s mansion had been a life changing event for Juliana so many times, she couldn’t help but feel this was going to happen again, especially when it was Valentina opening it and hugging Juliana with all the strength she had.

She was happy to know the interview had been an idea from Valentina’s dad himself. He had agreed that everyone knowing the truth from Valentina mouth’s was a better move than to let it look like a scandal other people could take advantage from.

“You could have told me.”

Valentina just laughed a bit as she held both of Juliana’s hands close to her own chest. “I wanted it to be a surprised!”

“Well, you sure surprised me!”

Valentina hugged her again, hiding her laugh in Juliana’s neck until it died down, and meeting Juliana’s eyes soon after. The close proximity and the way their eyes never stopped focusing on each other, making all of Juliana’s senses aware of what was about to happen.

“You’re the one who said you wanted the whole world to know about us”. Valentina whispered already shortening the distance between their lips, but Juliana didn’t kiss her, not yet. She just rested their foreheads together for a moment.

“If you’re going to take everything I say literally…”. She joked. “I hope you understand what I mean when I say you’re the best thing that had ever happened in my life”.

Without giving a chance for Valentina to say anything back, Juliana touched her lips delicately. 

The kiss felt like a  _ finally _ . Like they both knew this was the beginning of a life together that no one in their families would question or doubt, because now the whole country had the knowledge that Valentina Carvajal was in love with Juliana Valdés.

Juliana smiled into the kiss as the thought crossed her mind, and as if Val could read her mind, she smiled too, making Juliana start to giggle and turning kissing into a difficult task when they both fell into a fit of laughter.

“Wanna go upstairs?”. Juliana nodded yes and held the hand the other girl was offering, answering the more than one question Valentina was asking. 

When they got to the room and Valentina locked the door, Juliana was brought back to that day in the house of Valle before they were interrupted. The familiarity of what it was like to be with Valentina, mixed with the certainty that there would be no one else in the world she would rather  be this intimate and this exposed with, made Juliana follow willingly when Valentina moved them towards the bed. They didn’t fall immediately though. Valentina held them in place as they kissed like they had the whole time in the world, probably because now it felt like they did. 

It started slow but not as delicate as before, Valentina's tongue found its place past Juliana's lips and in no time she moved her arms around Juliana's neck.

Juliana knew what it meant. It meant that Valentina wanted to be held, that she wanted Juliana's firm hands on her waist, so Juliana conceded. In response, Valentina pulled them closer, making Juliana's body recognize the feeling of having Valentina all over her, even with their clothes still on.

A few suck on the lips, soft bites and some moans later, Valentina was still not tired to just kiss, but Juliana had been feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room way too many minutes ago, her clothes were already too tight and her body way too hot. Still, stop kissing Val like that wasn't exactly something she wanted to do, even if it was to communicate her situation.

She tried to take one deep breath, and it was enough effort to only whisper Valentina's name, but luckily Val knew her very well and she understood what Juliana wanted immediately.

With one last deep kiss, Valentina moved her mouth to Juliana's chin, then down to her neck and collarbone, finally moving up again, until she could have Juliana’s ear between her lips.

“I want to take my time with you”. 

Valentina whispered, and Juliana had to find balance in Val to keep herself standing, because her knees felt too weak to do their job. Her heart was beating too loud she didn’t registered the noise she made when Valentina said those words, but Val was a very attentive lover, and Juliana’s response to her caresses told her it was time to move things further.

Still keeping her lips on Juliana’s neck, Valentina started to take Jul’s jacket off, to unbutton her jeans, always happy to notice the speed that Juliana stepped out of them, because it meant that the girl in front of her was as eager to finally be together again as Valentina was.

Val pushed Juliana gently to the bed, giving her enough time to try to catch her breath while Valentina got rid of every single piece of cloth she was wearing. 

The feeling of having Juliana below her again made Valentina close her eyes for a moment, to appreciate and fully get her head around the fact that this was happening again, that she was already feeling the fireworks building up inside even if they have barely done anything yet, even if she was the only one completely naked and Juliana still had her shirt and underwear on.

The following kiss left Valentina breathless. Juliana’s touch on her shoulders, sliding down through her arms until her lower back, almost made her give up on the idea of taking everything in a slow pace. But it was Juliana’s hands on her ass, squeezing it still temptatively, that threw the idea out of the window for sure. They had already waited for too long.

The shirt and underwear came out from Juliana quickly. And if being close to Juliana was overwhelming before, now Valentina could be sure the fireworks were ready to explode. The sensation of moving together in sync, legs tangled and bodies touching in the middle as she kissed and breathed on Juliana’s neck, while Juliana let herself go even more than in the first time, meaning that she trusted Valentina with everything she had and some more, was more than enough to bring Valentina close to the edge immediately. 

She didn’t want to fall alone though, and with a soft pleas of “ _ Mí amor. Conmigo, mí amor _ “ against Juliana’s skin, Valentina was able to jump into the fireworks direction, knowing that Juliana was right there next to her.

***

Juliana wasn’t a very talkative person in general. Probably the only person that she ever managed  to have an open conversation right off the bat was Valentina.

But that only meant that Juliana liked to observe instead of always expressing her opinion on something, making her an expert on remembering important little details that could easily go unnoticed.

She would never forget the first time Valentina made the proposition they should live together. It was rushed and in the stupor of the moment, like most things Valentina did, but Juliana knew it had an honest intention behind it. 

The whole living together thing became basically impossible to forget once Valentina put the idea back in her head again. The rationalization behind it was very solid, considering they would wake up in the same bed in 6 out 7 seven days a week; that Juls fashion school was closer to Val’s house; that basically all of their shared clothes was already at the Carvajal’s mansion; and that Valentina had already asked permission to Lupe, twice, and Juliana’s mom had granted it both times.

So in one of those days, Juliana decided to simple say yes, making Valentina jump like a little kid in the same time as she tried to leave multiple short kisses on Juliana’s mouth. The reaction on itself was an award for Juliana, seeing Val smile so carefree never ceased to amaze her, especially when she was the one to cause such a response.

The first morning Juliana woke up after agreeing to move to the mansion with Valentina, started with her trying to get up from the bed as a heavy rain fell outside. It was still early and Juliana could have stayed in the bedroom with Val for more 30 minutes, but there was something important that needed her attention down in the kitchen, because Juls remembered very well who would be the one responsible for breakfast once they started living together.

After a little help from Silvina, that didn’t come without a serious warning of  _ “If you mess with my pans you’re gonna regret it”,  _ Juliana was able to bring a rather sophisticated meal upstairs.

And she was never going to forget the way Valentina, still naked in bed, laughed and cried from happiness at this simple gesture that Juliana cared enough to remember.

***

Juliana worked too much. Or at least was what Valentina would always tell her, but the problem was that Juliana didn’t know how to deal with life itself in any other way, she had always had to work hard to have anything and to fight for things that she wanted. So of course this trait of her personality would be present as she tried to be acknowledged as the new face of fashion in Mexico.

But the downside of putting so much effort into something, was that when things didn’t work out the way they were planned, Juliana would get frustrated easily and be way too hard on herself. Like when she had a full fashion show ready to go, but one of her models falls sick and wouldn’t be able to show up.

Those kind of things were not rare to happen, but the fact that she received the news on the night before of her fashion show, was nearly a disaster. Juliana wouldn’t be able to have the time to hire someone else and she didn’t even want to think about how she would adjust all the pieces that were ready for one specific model to wear.

Juliana worked too much, and she usually liked to do things alone, Valentina had already told her once that she needed to learn how to let herself be loved, and to be honest, two years later she had already came a long away, got better at letting people in and had almost zero restrictions when it came to Valentina. But old habits die hard, making it necessary for Val to raise her voice again, like that day in the car, and tell Juliana that she could be the missing model for her fashion show.

Jul’s brain froze for 2 seconds as what Valentina had said sunk in. It was a perfect solution. Maybe it was more than perfect, it was meant to be, because Juliana would be lying if she said many of those clothes she confectionated weren’t designed while she had Valentina on her mind, and now, having the possibility of watching Valentina go down the runway with some of them? It was like a dream that Juliana didn’t know she had, was coming true.

“You never told me you wanted to be a model”

To be honest, Valentina had never said anything but she had secretly wanted to for awhile. She wasn’t a professional and was more than happy to just keep Juliana company on her fashion shows, but Val had already tasted a little bit of this world before she had met Juliana and even though it wasn’t something just as serious, she had liked a lot.

And she was happy she finally told her girlfriend she wanted to do it, because the look Juliana gave her when she went went down the runway was something Valentina was never going to forget, even after she had grown gray hair and needed a cane.

Juliana wasn’t forgetting that day either. It would be forever stored as one of the happiest days of her life, side by side with the day she met Valentina at the park and, in the future, the day when she would marry the woman of her life.

Juls had it half planned already. It could be a big gesture because Val was the kind of girl who liked those, and Juliana would go down on her knees, like the prince charming that she was supposed to be in their previous life, and ask for Valentina’s hand. Maybe she would do it in the middle of a runway; or in the park where they met, surrounded by a band and heart shaped balloons; or maybe she would just wait for the next september, 14, and wake up Val with kisses and ask her if she had ever fell in love while holding the ring in her hands.

This time she was sure Valentina was going to say yes, and that would be another day Juliana was sure she was never going to forget.     


End file.
